The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I supernannyed him into submission
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
