I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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