I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
