I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
