nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize