She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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