I've blown a few things in my day
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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