just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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