i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Dicks are not precious.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
