Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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