I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
