so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
