PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Randomize
