im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
