She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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