Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
