don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
