sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
