How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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