i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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