D3 body, D1 cock
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
he shaved USA in his pubs
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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