y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
