Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
