You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
