i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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