Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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