Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
