I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize