Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
sex in a hospital.. check
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
