i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize