hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize