i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
