New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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