i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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