I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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