I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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