He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
