i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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