Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
