Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
