u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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