I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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