Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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