Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
