The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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