she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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