Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
