I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
