white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
