Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
