the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
