your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Randomize
