Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
