hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Randomize
