i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Randomize
