I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
