So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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