he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
