I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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