Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
