a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
