Duck Duck Cougar?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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