You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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