At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
