She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
